When the Rubber Hits the Road

Words really cannot describe the emotions I feel right now.  My mom left town early after my surgery to be home for my dad.   My dad has had a painful cough and a CT Scan found a mass in his lung.  On Monday he had a biopsy and the test results came in a few days later.  My dad was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer.  With this type of cancer surgery is not an option and he will begin chemotherapy and radiation right away.  So, I guess we are going to be cancer chemo buddies.  Not how I really dreamed of becoming even closer to my dad.

I guess the title comes from my thoughts in regards to my faith.   When the rubber hits the road where do I stand in my faith?  Faith is still a choice. We have to choose to believe God is in this and through it. We have to choose to find our peace through the storm.  God is always there, hovering over this chaos we call life.  We cannot understand His mysterious ways but we can choose to stay under His wings, feel His protection and know that He is God.  In a previous post I mentioned all I felt was this void.  In hind sight maybe that wasn't the best word choice because even though I was somewhat void of emotion I have still had this overwhelming sence of peace.  Even now with my dads diagnosis and the challenges our family is facing God's grace and peace is abundant.  I hope and pray my dad is able to dwell in this as well.

Enough of my rumblings about faith.  We have a chemo plan.  My first infusion is scheduled for August 30.  Three more will follow after that (Sept, Oct, Nov).  Once this round of meds are complete I start another one that is every week for 12 weeks.  I also started physical therapy today.  It felt good to be doing something proactive.  I know I will look forward to these twice weekly sessions.  I am healing well trying to understand and accept the new way I feel (or don't feel as the case may be) and trying to be patient through it.

Again, as always, I sign off being very humbled with all the support and encouragement everyone has sent our way.  I'm continuing to get cards, books, and prayer shawls in the mail, encouraging phone calls and offers to help with all our daily ins and outs of life!   Thank you!

Grace and peace to all of you!